Journey's End
by Naamah Beherit
Summary: When the storm is looming on the horizon, there is only one way - do as much as you can to make a difference once it hits.


_**Author's note:**__ This fic will cover the events of Mass Effect 3, though not as a novelisation – everyone knows what the game's about. As usually, I'll try to focus on the people instead of events. Knowledge of what happened in "The Overlord" DLC, "The Arrival" DLC and "Mass Effect: Conviction" is required. Why "Conviction"? Well, there is something really important on the last page, and it doesn't exactly support a theory of Shepard surrendering peacefully to the Alliance. So I've taken it and expanded a bit._

_Basically, it's a continuation of two other stories of mine: "Of Friendship Between Man and Woman" and "Project Overload". I would gladly rewrite the first one, for it no longer lives up to my expectations, but since there are people who liked it the way it is, I guess I'll just leave it._

_So here it is. I sincerely hope you'll enjoy._

_Everything must come to an end._

* * *

Things become quite difficult with so many batarians living on Omega. Ordinary citizens – who for some crazy reasons chose to made the station their home – and various gang members – who were so used to violence that they did not notice any change – were mostly unaffected, but anyone who at least resembled an Alliance soldier could not walk on the streets and avoid being spat at.

And that was the best case scenario.

Although more than capable of taking care of himself, James Vega was quite happy at the prospect of leaving this shithole. And he was not even leaving it in a brig. That was something.

While walking towards one of Aria T'Loak's private docks in a company of David Anderson and four marines, James could not stop thinking about the expression on the Admiral's face. He always was a tough one, the old man, an example for a recruit to follow since the very first day in the military. An example was not supposed to have cracks. An example was not supposed to appear broken.

Whenever James looked at his face, David Anderson seemed broken.

He had resigned from the Council and returned to an active duty about two weeks earlier. As everyone knew, he hated politics, so going back to the military should have made him bloom. Instead, Vega was standing beside a man who looked like his world fell apart around him. It was widely known that Commander Shepard had been his protégé, but James knew better than ask the Admiral whether that was the reason of his tortured look, or if it was just a bad day at work.

_Only you'll be guarding the brig_, he had said earlier. _One prisoner in particular._

There was some big action then, James though and glanced at the ship near which they stopped. It could not possibly to the Admiral, for it looked like someone flew it to hell and back a few times, crashed during the way and patched it up with whatever could be found at that moment. Vega realised he was somewhat reluctant to travel aboard this ship, but if that was his duty, he would not refuse. After all, it was going to be the first time when he was the one guarding, instead of being guarded.

He wanted to ask about the prisoners, but a sudden commotion caught his attention. A group of marines entered the dock, led by a short woman wearing a suit with an N7 emblem on her chest. James noticed a glimpse of something red behind her, and realised that the marines were escorting another woman with hands cuffed in front of her. There was something odd about her face, something _glowing _underneath scars covering her cheeks. Then they came closer and saluted, although Anderson did not seem to care. On the other hand, Vega could now see the colour of the woman's hair and a type of her armour, and he felt as if he was just hit with a hammer.

"Commander... Shepard?" he stuttered. That could not be true, they would not...

She glanced at him and returned her gaze to Anderson. Something glowed in her eyes as well and though Vega was quite familiar with cybernetic implants, he could not fathom why anyone would want something like this.

_I've been trying to be like you and I failed_, he wanted to scream, but not even a word left his mouth. He doubted she would care. Hell, she would probably commend his decision. Technically he knew it was reasonable.

Practically he still had nightmares about the people he had failed on Fehl Prime.

"Shepard," Anderson said, his voice full of despair and regret, "what have you done?"

She looked at her hands – covered in something that might have been turian blood, but James was not sure because of dim lights of the dock – and stared back at the Admiral with no remorse. Vega had never imagined that the great Commander Shepard would seem to be so... cold and calculating.

Maybe that was the problem with imagination – it would always lose with bitter reality.

He had hoped that news about the Bahak system was not true, that it was a mistake or a setup to frame the Commander for something she had not done. Now, when he was looking at her, he was not sure anymore.

"I did what I had to," she answered calmly. "I bought us more time."

* * *

THREE DAYS EARLIER

"_You've got fifteen minutes, Commander," the Chief of Security announced in an annoyed tone. "Any while longer and I call the Alliance."_

_Shepard regarded him with an equal annoyance, though she knew better than to respond in kind. It was him who had the power here, she would achieve nothing with arguing. However, the awareness of that did not change the fact that she wanted to punch him, and that urge rarely happened to be so strong. Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani might have still be on top of the list of her favourite training dummies, but this guy seemed to be more and more likely to gain the first place._

"_I'll be waiting outside," he added and opened the door for her. She doubted it had anything to do with the courtesy. "Just in case."_

"'_Just in case'?" Jane repeated after him. "Seriously? Do you even know what happened?"_

"_Fifteen minutes, Commander."_

_She bit her tongue, shot him a furious glare and entered the room as quietly as she could. _

_David Archer was sitting on the bed, holding a hanar plush toy in his hands and mumbling an endless stream of equations to himself. There was a few fading scars on his skull but no other visible sign of trauma he had gone through. Shepard had to admit that doctors from the Academy had done a good job, although the praise for saving his eyes had to be given to Karin Chakwas and Mordin Solus._

_Jane still dreamt about what happened to David, and not many things in this galaxy could cause her nightmares._

_She visited him every two weeks, and he looked better and better each time. She was not sure what exactly caused her to keep coming to the Academy. She had briefly thought whether or not it could be a simple responsibility, though it did not feel accurate._

_Every morning before her visit she feared that she would arrive too late and he would already be taken by Cerberus. Maybe it had something to do with the Project Lazarus and the awareness that they both had been objects of experiments. Or maybe, deep down, she knew that the Illusive Man would one day want to reclaim what she had taken away from him._

_Shepard forced herself to dismiss those thoughts and sat in a nearby chair. "Hello, David," she said and smiled. She hoped that smile looked natural. He always noticed when it was otherwise and that would cause him to ask questions – if he had a better day at least. She would not know how to answer._

_She woke up every morning, asked herself those questions and did not find an answer._

"_Hello, Commander," he answered as he always did. Somehow she found comfort in this routine. There were but a few things she could be certain of. Having one more made it easier to struggle through chaos of everyday life._

"_How are you?" Jane asked. "Did anything interesting happen lately?"_

"_I helped another student with numbers," David said after a while of consideration. "He didn't understand."_

"_That's great," she gave him a warm smile. "I'm glad you're making friends."_

"_I'm counting," he said, nodding, as if it was an adequate reply to her last words. She got used to his sudden remarks completely out of topic. Doctor Chakwas said that it was typical for people with his condition. Shepard even did her own research, something she had never thought she would do._

_She had never thought she would care._

"_David, there's something you need to know," she began after a while of silence, intending to get back on topic. "I don't know when I'll be able to visit next time."_

_There was no comment to that. She hoped he did not slip into his own mind and stop listening to her, as it sometimes happened._

"_Something went wrong and I have to lay low for a while," Jane continued, hoping he understood. What she was afraid of – and what Chakwas warned her about – was that no matter what she said, it was still possible that he would freak out when she would not show up in two weeks from now, and all the progress he made would go to waste. "I have to... take care of things. Do you understand?"_

"_Yes," he said in a dreamy voice and lowered his head, focusing on the toy. A torrent of numbers flowed again, just like it always did. Sometimes she wondered how it was possible for him not to get bored with it. On the other hand, she could not fathom what was going on inside his head, and she was well aware of that. All she could do was hope that he was not remembering tortures and pain all over again. She knew what it was like and how devastating it could get._

_After all, whenever she found herself without anything to do, she started remembering what it was like to die._

"_Cerberus won't come for you while I'm gone," Shepard promised with certainty she did not feel at all. "And if they do, I'll come at once. You have my word."_

_Her omni-tool suddenly chimed, and much to her surprise it was a sound of an incoming message. She did not get many messages anymore. She even disabled newsfeeds – seeing batarian demands for her head every single morning turned out to be extremely tiresome. With a pang of curiosity – such a rare thing those days, she realised, as if it were impossible to appreciate curiosity knowing that out there, in the dark space, the Reapers were getting closer and closer to the galaxy – Shepard opened the message and read it quickly._

He promised_, she thought, overcome by a sudden urge to give up. She usually experienced those at nights, somewhere between the eternity of midnight and long hours of dawn, when she looked into the void of space above her head, and the void looked back. She was tired, _so _tired – of everything really. Of lone fights, of the awareness that a storm was coming and nothing could stop it, no matter how hard she tried. And she knew that she would be at the front lines when it hit._

_It would be so much easier just to give up._

_But then her instincts kicked in, each and every time, and forced her to go on, one more time – an endless one more time._

_So she got up and ran away to keep fighting, like she always did. David's mumbling followed her until she could not hear it anymore._

* * *

"Where's the rest of your crew?" Anderson asked when the soldiers led Shepard to a room which used to be Miranda Lawson's quarters. It was empty now, no one even entered it since she had left. There was already more than enough empty rooms.

She glanced at four people which were already inside. Ken and Gabby were sitting close to each other, obviously scared of what was going on, while Doctor Chakwas was bandaging Joker's arm.

"Doc, what happened?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

"His stubbornness happened, Commander," Karin snapped, and Shepard realised how angry the older woman was. Not that it surprised her.

"Just a broken arm," Joker shrugged and tried to smile. "I didn't wanna leave my baby in their hands."

"Shepard," Anderson interrupted forcefully, "where is the rest of your crew?"

"There's no one else," she laughed, a bitter edge audible in her voice. "Well, there used to be, but I dumped them. Cerberus lackeys."

"How do you even manage..." the Admiral's voice trailed off as he looked around himself in disbelief. "This ship is huge!"

"We take shifts," she answered, her lips curving into a sarcastic smile. As soon as they came aboard, she noticed that a hologram on the AI terminals was gone. That was a good thing, she did not want anyone finding out about EDI. Although it sounded quite unusual, given her history with various AIs, Shepard actually grew fond of her ship's 'mind'. EDI had proven to be more reliable and trustworthy than most of the crew she had been given to by the Illusive Man.

She had proven more trustworthy than Jane's own mother.

"Shepard?" Chakwas' voice broke her train of thought. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Doc," she answered, shrugging off a feeling of insecurity and hollow despair. She had wanted it all to stop and now she was granted her wish. "Why do you ask?"

"Fingers of your left hand are twitching and it's not natural for you," the older woman said seriously and took a few steps towards Jane. "And your pupils are dilated. Did anything happen?"

_Yes, I lost_. _For the first time in my life, I lost,_ she thought. Then she looked down at her hand. Funny, her fingers really _were_ twitching, and she was not even aware of that. "That's nothing," she said. "Just some moron couldn't overload my shields in a proper way."

Doctor Chakwas scowled, opened her mouth and began a rant. Jane was not surprised that mere moments later she found herself in the medical bay. No one could ever resist long when Karin Chakwas wanted to work.

* * *

HALF AN HOUR EARLIER

"_I don't like this."_

_Shepard smirked slightly. "How many times have you already said that?" she asked, trying to hide her own insecurity behind a wall of a false cheerfulness. She hoped he would not notice, though at the same time she was fully aware that he knew her too well to be fooled in such a way._

"_What could your mother possibly do?" Garrus continued, looking around from time to time. "She hasn't got more influence than Hackett, and he's working his ass off to keep the tail away from us."_

_She sighed, tired of just another version of the only conversation they were having in the last three days. Truth to be told, she was tired of everything lately. How long could she go on like this?_

"_She was offered the promotion just because I died, and she didn't even take it," Jane said and shrugged. "That was just a sales pitch, nothing more. She's got no influence at all."_

"_Then why did she do this?"_

"_I don't know," she sighed again. 'We'll work this out somehow', wrote Hannah Shepard. As if that was possible. "Maybe she just want to see me."_

_Garrus regarded her with doubt. He looked just as uneasy as she felt. "She could've just written so."_

"_Just ask her yourself when we see her," she told him and laughed at a grimace he made. "I'm more concerned about Hackett. He's losing a grip on the situation."_

_Garrus put a hand on her shoulder, and although she could not feel it because of her armour she was grateful for the gesture._

"_We could lay low for a while," he suggested. "Liara would surely appreciate some company."_

"_How long would it last, Garrus?" she stopped to look at him. "How long could we live like this? What would we do? Wake up every morning and wonder how much longer we've got?"_

_He took her hand into his. "It's not like we do anything else, Jane, but at least it would be safer on Hagalaz."_

"_Nowhere's safe," she shook her hand and resumed walking towards the place she was supposed to meet her mother. Shepard could not understand why she had chosen Omega of all places._

"_Jane, wait!" Garrus suddenly yelled. She turned around and gave him a questioning look. He was still standing at the same place they had stopped a while ago. She realised he was looking around, trying to take in every bit of information about their surroundings. It was his usual behaviour during missions, but there was no reason for it now._

_Something cold settled in her throat. She glanced around and drew her rifle, though nothing wrong caught her attention. "What is it?"she asked as soon as she approached him._

"_It's too quiet," he said seriously. "We're on bloody _Omega_, so where the hell is the crowd? Where are gangs and batarians trying to spit at you?"_

"_Do you seriously miss the batarians?" she chuckled, feeling a surge of adrenalin. He looked at her, seemingly annoyed. "Very well, let's get back to the ship. I'll write to mum and tell her we couldn't make it in time."_

"_Good, come on," he said and grabbed her hand._

_Shepard was not sure what exactly happened later. One second they were running towards the docks, and the next one she was kneeling on the ground, blind and deaf, with shaking hands and pounding head. It took her a while to regain her senses, though her vision still was blurry. She raised a hand to her face, only to find tears running down her cheeks. An omni-tool on her hand came to life and gave a warning sound – her shield were damaged._

_She glanced around quickly. Garrus was already on his feet, his trusted sniper rifle in hand. Further on the street, next to the main alley leading to the docks, a group of armed people were taking positions near every possible exit from this boulevard. They seemed to be good, she had to admit that._

"_Jane?_!_" Garrus shot her a quick glance. "You alright?"_

"_I'm fine," she grunted and managed to stand up in spite of shaking muscles of her legs. "These fucking loosers can't even overload one's shields. Who are they? Can you see anything?"_

_He peeked at them through the scope of the rifle and mutter a few untranslatable curses under his breath._

"_That bad?" Shepard froze with the rifle ready to shoot. She kept blinking, trying to focus her vision which apparently decided to play games with her._

Fucking implants_, she thought._

"_It's the Alliance," Vakarian growled, trying to divide his attention between every group. "They must've intercepted the message."_

_Jane's awareness became sharper because of the rage rising inside her. "No," she hissed, "they're with her. It's a trap, damn it. A fucking trap."_

_He looked at her, but did not object. There was really a little room left for denial. Jane did not want to even think about it at the moment. Getting out of this mess was more important than any kind of hurt feelings._

"_What do we do?"_

"_Fight back," she said through gritted teeth. She was not ready to give up. Not yet._

_Probably she would never be._

"_Lower your weapon and surrender!" yelled someone in front of them. Shepard tried to identify the one who spoke, and noticed something unusual._

"_Garrus, is that a..." she hesitated for a moment, "a sword?"_

"_Yeah," Vakarian chuckled, verifying what they saw through the scope. "That's something new."_

"_Blimey, what a clown," she breathed, dumbstruck. "Can you shoot it?"_

_He regarded her as though she just offered a peace treaty to the Reapers. "Who do you think I am?"_

_Jane smiled brightly at him. "He's all yours. Let's shut this circus down."_

"_Surrender now or we'll shoot!" the man shouted again. At least she assumed he was a man – his full-body armour covered even the face, but his body bore some obviously male features. _

_She moved to the right and positioned herself behind Garrus. "I've got you covered, let's do this."_

_He murmured an acknowledgment and pulled the trigger. A loud sound of shot resonated amongst the nearby buildings, followed shortly by a metallic crack of something being broken and an immediate curse after that._

_A fight that broke out turned out to be quite typical and easy – or maybe Shepard could no longer be impressed by anyone. They were slower than the Collectors and less agile than the geth. There was no satisfaction – unlike when the Reapers were concerned – and no thrill – because they were not shooting to kill, and Jane was trying not to add a few murders to her already impressive list of charges. Given all factors, there was quite a possibility of getting out of this mess without much effort._

_Then someone hit her with the overload again._

_Shepard fell down onto the knees again, shaking and unable to hold her rifle. She thought she heard Garrus yelling her name, however she was not sure whether he really did that or her brain just gave up on working properly. For no apparent reason, old memories of her implants being hacked flooded her mind. She had felt so helpless as she did now, overwhelmed by blinding pain in her nervous system. It had ended quickly back then, as soon as she had become controlled, but now she felt like every single circuit entangled with her nerves was on fire._

_Spirits, she was crying again._

_Jane took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down a bit. She had walked under a Reaper, being bombarded with its indoctrinating signal, bleeding profusely from nose and fighting for strength to take every single step. Hell, she had _died_. She would _not _let something so trivial as the simple overload stop her._

_After a while she stood up again. Garrus. She had to find Garrus._

"_Don't move," someone said right into her ear. A woman, judging by voice. Something cold touched Shepard's throat right above the collar of her armour. She glanced to the side and nearly choked._

"_Another _sword_?" she cracked. "Are you serious?"_

"_Don't move," repeated the woman behind her. "Hold the turian!"_

_Jane growled and focused her gaze on a group of people standing nearby. There was Garrus – furious – and three soldiers trying to hold him steady. She was not surprised that the clown whose sword was destroyed was one of them._

"_Tell me, people," she said and grinned, "did the Alliance cut funds for weapons? Or maybe you're just so helpless that they didn't want you to hurt yourselves?"_

_The pressure of the blade on her throat became stronger. If not for the skin weave, she was sure there would already be blood. She had to admit that those swords were sharp._

Swords,_ she told herself one more time. _You've gotta be kidding me.

"_Drop your gun," hissed the woman. "Surrender, and no one gets hurt."_

_Shepard blinked a few times to make sure her eyes worked properly now and looked at Garrus. He shook his head – _don't worry about me_ – and titled his body slightly to the right. She glanced in that direction – apparently he meant the clown number one – took a better look and swallowed the curse when she noticed an emblem on that man's armour. She had heard about them, the most recent N7 operatives which had undergone a new type of training._

_In some way, deep down at the roots of her personality, she could not bear the thought that there could be soldiers better than her._

"_Fine," she said, her mind racing in an attempt to find a way out of this, "dropping now."_

_Her rifle fell onto the ground – her trusted old Collector rifle. She had taken it from the first Collector trooper she had killed after those horrible two years, and had never used any other assault rifle. Every single shot from this weapon had been a grain of sand that had fallen into the hole of her ruined life, and a tribute for all those people who had died on the Normandy alongside her._

_She always wondered how unfair it was for her to be given a second chance, while there had been no one to do the same for them._

"_Jane Shepard, you are under arrest—" began the woman, but she was not granted an opportunity to finish that sentence. Shepard plunged her elbow into the operative's stomach and lurched forwards, intending to throw herself at the clown. Her implants gave her more strength than an ordinary human had, and he was a skinny one, she would surely—_

_Then she found herself metres away, on the ground, her whole body numb and blood trickling from her nose. The clown stood right beside her, his whole body glowing with residual biotics._

"_Did you really think that we're unprepared?"_

* * *

"There's no damage, just too many electric currents for your implants to process," stated Doctor Chakwas when she finished her readings. "You should be fine in a couple of hours."

Shepard got up from the bed and began putting her armour back. It did not seem likely that she would be allowed to get some normal clothes from her quarters.

"EDI, you there?" she asked, getting dressed as slowly as she only could without making it look suspicious.

"I am still here, Shepard," said the AI when a holographic orb appeared above the med bay terminal. "I have decided to disable the image."

"Good call," Jane acknowledged the decision. She wondered – not for the first time – when exactly she started to think about EDI as person instead of a thing, and how it happened that she became so irreplaceable part of the crew.

"There was nothing I could do," said EDI before Shepard could even ask. "Every possible scenario would have resulted in harming the crew. I could not do that."

Commander nodded and exchanged worried looks with Chakwas. She could not imagine what would happen if – or maybe it was just a matter of 'when' – the Alliance found out about the Normandy's AI. Anderson was already suspicious, because there was simply _no _way of operating the ship's system with so few people. It _screamed _of impossibility.

"Why could I not do that, Shepard?"

She wished EDI had an arm she could put a hand on. "I'd be worried if you _could_."

"What is happening to me?"

Shepard suddenly missed Legion more than she usually did. It would be so much easier to let those two talk and figure out things on their own. She would certainly not shoot any of them for asking whether or not they had souls.

"No one's ever said that the self-awareness was easy."

* * *

_Things had quickly fallen out of hand. Shepard did not try to attack the clown – the biotic clown, she corrected herself, oh, how she hated fighting with the biotics – instead she decided to get closer to Garrus. If they were to go down, they would do it together, as it was and always would be. If they were to survive, they would have to do it quickly, because she did not know how much longer her body would resist the fatigue. _

_It was far too late when she realised that the sword girl was nowhere to be seen._

* * *

"Is there anything you've got to say?" Anderson asked seriously when she left the med bay. There was quite an audience behind him: a guy who had seemed to be going to the gym far too often than he should – there was a weird grimace on his face that made him look like a kicked puppy, something that really did not correspond with his figure – the biotic clown, the sword girl, and a few marines. She suspected that the rest of his strike team was rampaging through the other decks of the ship.

"I did my duty," growled Shepard, her voice far too angry than she wanted it to be. "If not for me, _they_ would've been here already. And don't tell me you're prepared, because I know the condition of the Alliance. We're not ready, and probably never will be, but at least I bought us a few more months to live. And you know what? All I got for that was a witch hunt."

"It wasn't my decision," he said, and she saw how much it hurt him to be the one who was ordered to capture her. She knew that she hurt _him_ with things she did, that she disappointed him, and hell, she _did _feel guilty. But if that was the price for delaying the Reapers, she would pay it.

"If there was another way..." Shepard's voice trailed off, but she got a grip on herself. "But there wasn't. So I did what was necessary. At least now you've got a chance to say goodbye to your friends. Better do it quickly, though, 'cause I don't know how much longer we've got."

* * *

_She pressed her hands to his right cheek, desperately trying to stop the bleeding. The outside world blacked out, there was only her and now, frozen in an endless loop. She did not know who tore off the bandages – whether it was the sword girl or the biotic clown. She did not know who fired the concussive shot._

_She knew that it was Torfan and Alchera all over again. She was just about to lose everything. Again._

"_Jane," he said, his voice cracking, and reached for her. She tore the dog tags off her neck and put them into his hand. Her old, outdated dog tags, half-burnt and almost unreadable. _

"_I won't let you kill Harbinger without me," she said before they dragged her away and out the handcuffs around her wrists._

* * *

"I wish there was any other way," Anderson said while they waited in the airlock. She merely nodded. There was no other way and she always knew it.

Other ways had closed over two years ago, leaving only one that was open. One that led to an endless Reaper night. So she stepped out into the sunlight knowing that every sun would set soon.

"Jane Shepard, former Lieutenant Commander of the Systems Alliance, you are under arrest for terrorism, treason and genocide."


End file.
